Let This One Go

Gayatri

Guest blogger

I was making rotis today. They are these special kinds of marathi rotis which are a cross between a roti and a paratha.

I will tell you how it’s supposed to be

Crisp, soft, layered, hot & perfectly round and fluffed up.
It’s heaven to eat this perfection even without any side dish.
I.e. IF you make it well.

I kept making roti after roti while thinking the strangest things. And I kept effing them up. They were edible yes, but not mom level glorious. They weren’t round and they weren’t entirely fluffed up.

So I kept thinking that I will do better in the next one and then when the time came to perform I drifted off again. Used less oil or flour to layer it .. didn’t spread with precision, didn’t roll it evenly… something went wrong each time and each time i am thinking Ok NEXT Time I start this over I will be perfect at this. Let this one go.

That’s the problem. You are always going to f&^k up,doesn’t mean you give up and concentrate only on your next chance. This chance isn’t over yet.

I realize that that’s what I have done all along. The next mobile i take i will take better care, the next project will be super organized, the next house i shift into i will keep it beautiful. I never manage because by the time i am doing the current job or project i am already thinking of the next one.

That’s the problem of epic proportions. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not endorsing some sort of stuck-up ocd level perfectionism which will wring you dry. No, I am pointing out a bigger problem. The problem of giving up when it’s not time to give up.

I told myself – you attack those rotis alright, attack them and make them round. Try hard.

You do what you have with full and complete presence.

You owe it to yourself.

Promotions will happen. If you are mildly competent they will happen sooner or later but what matters is that you are doing a better job every time. You are happy with the effort that YOU put in.

A job well done is a satisfaction in itself. Promotions shouldn’t be tied to it; at least not in your mind.

So? Is this why mom used to say “who will marry you if you don’t make round rotis”

Sure you will find someone who will marry you. But the lack of roundness of your rotis, the lack of fluffy, crispy-ness is just mildly symptomatic that you don’t take pride in a job well done.

Its not anti-feminist to make good rotis, what is anti feminist is to choose something based on
stereotypes. Even if you are going against the stereotype you are letting it influence you.

Does that make sense?

No

Consider this.

My sister today loves embroidery. Genuinely adores it. When we were kids she had this class called “Girls Craft” and one thing they taught there is embroidery.

She hated it but didn’t say anything about it because it was just 2 periods in a week. No sweat really.

She hated that she belonged to the girls craft class and actively rebelled in learning anything useful or noteworthy.

She gave it a chance then because I considered it to be conforming to stereotypes.

She was going against them while getting influenced by them

Stupid in my opinion. If you love knitting you knit. Girl or Boy, shouldn’t matter.

So my point is. Take pride in a job well done and it will make you marriageable

“WHat?”

You were making perfect sense till you said the last line

Ofcourse, till you cut and driy it like that. Nothing cut and dried ever makes sense

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