Every Choice Matters

I write when it comes feel from my heart. That doesn’t mean I don’t write on other days.

I journal almost every day, especially on days when emotional turmoil hijacks my mental peace.

Then a day comes I feel worth sharing, that will make me pause, think, question, or maybe find my answer. So, here I am.

A friend in her late 40s, married for 25 years with three children said, ‘why my parents thought that I wanted to marry a boy? Maybe I was interested in a girl? Maybe I would have been happier being a lesbian? Who gave them the authority?’

Yes, in some Eastern communities, this happens…parents look for a spouse for their children. Few parents turned progressive and asked for a girl’s consent.

It’s time they advance more and accept that the choice of a girl could be a girl and for a boy it could be boy. The proof of that is increasing depression and suicide rate.

Shifting focus from a conservative mindset to the happiness of the child might be challenging, but is it impossible? I bet you know the answer.

Put your child at priority to drop the fear of society or the people who hardly matter. Put your child’s happiness and drop the expectation that your child will make you happy.

Every mother wants their daughter to live happily. I have a daughter too. She is fighting her battles; I don’t want to add another challenge. It’s not her job to take care of my happiness by marrying a person of my choice. My happiness, my responsibility.

Love and happiness can’t be interchanged.

Of course, my daughter loves me, and I love her. Does she need to carry the burden of my happiness?

It’s a parent’s job to keep the child happy, safe, and make a responsible contributor to society. It is the child’s job to find love in life.

If I give her the freedom to choose her dress, make-up, college, and job, why should I hold the authority to decide her partner?

She would spend more years with her partner than with me. At eighteen, she will move out to explore her life. She would decide who makes her happy and understands her well.

I can’t carry the blame of her pain in case things don’t work out. Nonetheless, my doors of my heart and house are always open.

On this International Women’s Day, as a woman can we commit to respect the choice of another woman even when she is our daughter?

Can we stand behind to give unconditional support to let our daughters move forward?

Can we all collectively let her create a path we never walked on? 

Can we respect her choice?

Happy International Women’s Day!

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